so much for promises

The end of MS2 and beginning of MS3 offer lots of opportunities for reflection (opportunities as in situations, not so much time). Recently, I keep thinking back on the various activities that I used to enjoy immensely that have now fallen by the wayside. I read for pleasure much less, I hardly write at all, I haven’t picked up a sketch book in gods-know-how-long, I haven’t sung since college – it’s all just so… disappointing. Without even bringing the idea of family into the mix, how do you find time for all your interests?

Sometimes I go back and read things that I wrote a (long) while ago, and I’m (not to sound super pretentious or anything) vaguely impressed by myself. Sure, most of my writing needed lots of work, but I could see the improvement – the clumsy and then less-clumsy and then almost-elegant turns of phrase, the evolution of imagery. I remember when words would flow unbidden from my pen, when I couldn’t stem the tide of ideas; now it’s a struggle to drag the words forth to even write a blog post. I actually think the lapse in reading/writing disappoints me the most.

I’m trying to come up with ways to help myself along, but I can’t even figure that out. Le sigh. Any thoughts?

promises, promises

I’ve started and stopped a lot of entries over the course of this year, my first year in medical school. Time management issues, stress, and general business meant that I never actually finished any of the entries I meant to write. Also, sometimes words just didn’t seem adequate to describe what happened (although that’s probably more a function of the writer than the words), and sometimes the experiences didn’t seem adequate enough to describe.

But without waxing too eloquent, here’s a breakdown of the major things (that I can remember at this particular moment) that have happened this year:

• survived MS1 (so far)
• became (almost, sort of) a homeowner
• got engaged by the Boy :)

I like that last one best, if you couldn’t tell.

Obviously these things require a bit of elaboration. But I have a couple exams coming up, so at the risk of being one of those annoying people that just leave you hanging for FOREVER (coughcough) after promising you a good story, I’ll update when those are over. Or at least the first one. Or something.

Promise.

bony thorax

Manubrium. Xiphisternal joint. Auricle. Rami communicantes.

I’m slowly going through my deck of anatomy flashcards in an attempt to get a jump of the immense amount of memorization I’m going to have to do this coming year. And really, with each passing card, I become more and more… content. A strange kind of peace fills me as I’m looking at these beautiful, familiar-yet-foreign words, words that bring a lovely order to the swooping lines and compartments and, well, parts of the human body. Some of them sound like spells - levator costarum. Some of them suggest music – clavicle. Others describe structures that I didn’t even know were structures, a line here, a ridge there – points of connection like the serratus anterior tubercule, or homages to evolution like the lingula. As I read them in my head and taste them in my mouth, my fingers try to find the pieces on my own body, touching the tip of my scapula, tracing my sides as if I could feel the intercostal muscles through layers and skin and fat and fascia. It’s calming and meditative and right.

As I become more and more accustomed to the idea of moving to Dallas in the fall, I’m also becoming more and more excited for medical school.

europe

Edit: I FINALLY uploaded pictures to my Flickr account. A lot of pictures. Some dating back almost a year ago. With those online now, I went back and updated a couple of entries, including this one, with some graphics.

Back from Europe! Well, actually Sqm and I got back Sunday evening. Our  flight from Munich was supposed to arrive at O’Hare at 3 in the afternoon, but there was a five and a half hour delay due to a missing airplane part (we got in around 9:30 PM). Did I mention I really don’t like United Airlines?

In any event, Europe itself was lovely! Expensive, but lovely and a lot of fun. I met (slash nearly missed) Sqm in Munich at the central subway station (Hauptbahnhof), we found a place to live, and then he proceeded to give me a three hour walking tour of old town, which is gorgeous and filled with grand old churches and plenty of tasty looking/smelling food. We had Munich’s famous white sausage, made from veal, and pretty much chilled out for a day and a half before hopping over to Paris.

good luck topping this next year

Perhaps you have already heard the news (especially if you keep up with the much-more-oft-updated Coster3 blog) – the Boy is back! I can’t even tell you how ecstatic that makes me. Part of me scarcely believes he’s actually Stateside again; it’s all very surreal – kind of like when he left for Uganda in the first place.

The reasons for his leaving the Peace Corps are many and varied and have to do with administration and some personal angst, but you can read about it here (at least the first part so far). It’s probably better to get his perspective instead of hearing my extremely biased speculation. All that really matters to me is that he got himself out of a mentally-damaging situation that would have made him miserable for two years. I’m disappointed that the Peace Corps didn’t turn out to be what he thought it would be, but I can’t really articulate how amazingly happy it makes me that he’s close by now.

down on the farm

This past weekend LotR and I took the train over to IA to visit the Boy’s fam. Well, that was my primary motivation for making the trip. LotR, who wants to be a large-animal vet in the future, wanted to spend some time following Tom around to various farms during calving season. We were both introduced to Tom back in February (during my long IA stint) by the Boy’s G’pa, Howard, who owns and runs, in my opinion, quite a large operation himself, with plenty of cows and pigs and all sorts of other things to see. In any event, Tom primarily (only?) practices large-animal medicine and, as an added bonus, already loves LotR (he has a couple pretty hilarious pictures of her from the last visit – one with her arm inside a cow’s butt and one with the classic double-thumbs-up-silly-enthusiastic-smile pose).