perspective

Happy Valentine’s Day! Do something red and pink. And possibly chocolatey.

And now for a follow up.

Thanks, everyone, for the support. I’m still sad, still scared, and probably will be for a little while at least, but I feel a bit better. Partially because I can’t keep up with that level of emotional drama anymore. Which is a good thing really. Like I said, we’ll see what happens. I know there’s no point in speculating on the variety of things that could possibly happen in two years and three months, but sometimes my brain likes to engage in pointless things anyway.

I’m not angry or anything at the Boy at all for deciding to do the Peace Corps. I actually think it’s wonderful and am a bit jealous at the amazing experience he’ll be getting. I think it’ll be really great for him as a person (as if he needs the help in that department). That’s not to say that I’m not unhappy at being deprived of his physical presence, but neither of us are people that dwell on the negative. I know that I’ll have a few emotionally low points, but I also know that this time will be really good for the both of us to figure out our own lives and wants and selves. He’ll be testing his adventure limits, and I’ll be testing how long I can go without sleep.

In seriousness though, I’m not a person who believes in soulmates or that love can endure through anything. I don’t think that love conquers all. I may have been a hopeless romantic once, but I’m not so hopeless anymore. I don’t think that you can sit back and just trust in the love you had in the past to carry you through to the future. I think a relationship – any relationship, but especially a loving one – takes a bit of effort and time and consistency. But it also requires two people to change and grow together. I’m realistic. I don’t know who I’ll be or who the Boy will be in two years time.

But I do know that we’ll both be amazing people. And we both enjoy the company of other amazing people. So it’ll probably work out. :) Regardless, he’ll be a part of my life in some capacity. Apparently, according to him, I’m part of the Coster/Kopelson/Aug mafia now, and there’s nothing I can do about it. And I’m pretty happy with that.